I just found out by accident that Lloyd Alexander died on May 17th, about two weeks after his wife of over 60 years.

When I was younger I adored the Chronicles Of Prydain and I still mourn the loss of a pretty hardcover of the collected books that I lost during a bad friendship breakup. I originally stumbled into the Westmark Series while in junior high during one of my daily rounds in the library looking for something to read and quickly devoured it.

I’m too tired to say anything else.

Rest in Peace Lloyd and Janine.

My bank was robbed today for the second time this month. The guy got away on a bicycle. He got away. On a bicycle.

So I had an interesting experience late Wednesday night after leaving my my boyfriend’s house. Here’s the email I sent him at 3 in the morning about it. Please pardon the rambliness, I was very tired.

First some background information. I have a history of being approached by men. Very rarely is it so they can hit on me. Usually it’s so they can tell me their life stories, talk about carpal tunnel or whatever else for hours. Sidenote: I did, however, once have a memorable night caught between two guys - one tugging on each arm - like I was a rope in a tug of war while I’m yelling “Phlebotomist!” at my friend (phlebotomist was our code word for “get me the hell out of here!”). I don’t usually mind except for the fact that I am terrible at extricating myself from such situations. After 2 hours of talking about carpal tunnel I might want out of the conversation, but I can never seem to really assert myself. I am better than I used to be at least.

I am at heart a nice person, despite all my attempts at jaded cynicism while a teen. And I don’t like to hurt people or cause them pain. So I can be a pushover.

The email:

From Monica:
To Rob:

Stopped at Price Chopper last night after I left your house because I forgot contact lens solution. Plus I was really awake.

I get there and there appears to be no one else in the store. I am wandering around the cosmetic section looking for solution and of course the only other customer is there waiting for me right in front of the eye stuff. He is in his forties and in a ratty t-shirt and shorts. He is also very dirty. I am trying to avoid eye contact and conversation (it’s 1:30 in the morning), but I hear, ‘You know anything about eyes?’ I don’t even know what I said in response. He explains that his eye is red and hurts and he wants my advice. He also eyes my little hand basket and asks me if it’s true that single girls use those instead of shopping carts. I reply that I have a boyfriend while desperately looking for the brand my mother likes. He counters that not married equals single. All of this in a remarkably unsleazy way. He then asks how far away I live while informing me that he lives in Throop and walks to Chopper every night, but he hasn’t seen me there before. My eye catches sight of mom’s brand, I grab it and start heading towards the front of the store. The guy decides to walk with me while asking me repeatedly if I’ll put the drops in for him (no). I come to a stop near the register, hoping he’ll keep going. He stops and asks if I need anything else and offers to walk around the store with me. I mutter nonsense about forgetting something while inching towards the clerk. He finally moves into line and I take off down the nearest aisle and hide there. While I’m hiding I hear the clerk telling him how to use the drops and that no, she won’t put them in for him.

I wait a few moments and finally get to the register and out the door.

I really need to be more assertive.

01 Postcrossing - Trade postcards with people from all over the world. It’s secure and I’ve gotten some beautiful (and funny) postcards from some wonderful people.

02 Television Without Pity - Miss an episode of your favorite show? No worries. Get a detailed snarky recap here. I always make sure to read the Doctor Who ones after a new episode airs.

03 Epicurious - Online collection of recipes. Or collection of online recipes? Oh well. I found a wonderful recipe for Tomato-Basil Crab Bisque that was DELICIOUS.

04 Bookcrossing - Trade books, talk about books, release books into the wild or join a bookring. Another website with friendly fantastic people. And books.

05 Librarything - Where I have my bookshelf online. If only my bookshelf could hold so many books! I joined a while ago, but have only recently begun to seriously add books. Now I’m kind of addicted to it.

06 Neil Gaiman’s Journal - My favorite author again. Fun to read even if you’re not a reader of his works. Have I mentioned that I adore this man?

07 Bookmooch and Paperbackswap - I’m addicted to trading books. All you ever pay is postage if one of your books is requested from another user.

08 Livejournal - I have a livejournal I sometimes update and a lot of my friends have journals there. I check the friends page to see what they’ve posted when I can’t talk to them on the phone. Some fun communities too.

09 Albright Memorial Library - Online gateway to the local library. I spend entirely too much time browsing the catalog and sometimes I get carried away putting books on hold. I’ve been known to leave the library with bags of books. My version of weight-lifting, I guess.

10 Gmail - My main email address is a gmail one and I love it. I also use the search function a lot to locate old messages because my memory is like swiss cheese riddled with extra bullet holes from a tommy gun.

11 Online Card Games - I’ve been wasting time playing gin rummy like a fiend. Also 52 Card Pickup is actually a game? I thought it was just a trick my father used to play on me.

12 Netflix - Ah, Netflix! I love it so. I get so happy when I see that red envelope sitting in my mailbox. Been watching a lot of classic Who and next up is the Masterpiece Theatre production of Jane Eyre.

13 The Google News Page - I check it daily, especially when CNN is too busy talking about Paris Hilton or Anna Nicole Smith to actually tell me what is going on in the world.

14 Myspace - I’m kind of ashamed to admit to having a myspace page. I mainly have to log in so often to reject friends requests from bands I’ve never heard of or to delete spam messages. I do have friends that use it, so it is useful sometimes, but I’m not sure it’s worth it.

15 The Onion - Fake, funny news. The headlines alone are worth it. Manny Ramirez Asks Red Sox If He Can Work From Home, McCain To Send Self Back To Vietnamese POW Camp To Revitalize Campaign, Unreleased Jimmy Page Guitar Riff To Be Retrieved From Secret Vault To Save Rock And Roll. You have to have a sense of humor.

Dear Drivers of Pickup Trucks Who Feel the Need To Hang Fake Testicles From The Back of Your Truck,

I am especially talking to the guy with the neon pink pair that I saw yesterday on Interstate 80. Please be aware that I respect you that much less. Do you think it’s ultra-macho to have them hanging there, swinging in the breeze? It’s really not. It’s ridiculous. It makes me think less of you. Do you see that tiny pickup that just whizzed past you? He probably has a bigger penis than you.

Who exactly are the Fake Testicles on display for? Women? All the girls and women I know find them laughable. And not in a good way. This will not get you laid. Is it for men? If you’re looking for a boyfriend there is probably an easier way to advertise. This will not get you laid.

Do you just think it looks “cool”? It really, really doesn’t. It’s a “Beware of the Idiot” sign.

Please take it down. Go back to your ultra-tough fake bullet holes or whatever you have. If you get the urge to do arts & crafts in the future try painting or sculpting. That might get you laid.

Sincerely,

Monica